Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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