But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
