he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
