8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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