Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
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