If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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