Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
