Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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