holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
