He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
