Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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