in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
