Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
