Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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