i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
