the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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