I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
