great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
