Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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