I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
