i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
