dude i'm inner monologue high
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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