I skipped work to stalk him.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
