So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
