You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
