K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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