Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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