i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
