The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
