Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
