I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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