I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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