FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
