at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
