exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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