She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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