Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
