summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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