the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
