my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I have grass duct taped all over my body
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
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