I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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