Pants 0. Shit 1.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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