I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
