like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
