You can't motorboat a personality
high people should be assigned attendants
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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