They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
