I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize