I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
