My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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