btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
