covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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