I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
We are all done wearing pants today
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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