another moral hangover. fuck.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
